Goodbye
by Noticeable801
Summary: X/A. Pre-FIN. Xena and Ares say goodbye before she leaves for Jappa.


Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Xena: Warrior Princess.

A/N: I just felt as if it was always wrong that Xena didn't say goodbye to Ares before she died..which is why I usually just disregard Friend In Need...haha. I guess I just wrote this for personal closure. :) Anyways, this is my first Xena/Ares story...so I hope it's not too bad. I'd appreciate feedback though. So please review! :)

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_Goodbye_

_"Ares."_

She needs to explain. She needs to see him one last time. She needs to say goodbye. She owes him at least that much.

"Can't keep away from me, can you?" he asks while smirking smugly. His smile falls at once seeing her distressed expression. In a second he's in front of her, hands on her arms, concern etched onto his face. "What's wrong?"

"Ares…we need to talk," she stutters. All her carefully planned words seem to have evaporated, leaving nothing but silence in their wake.

"Xena...what is it?" he prods gently when she fails to continue her speech. She looks anxious, sad, and quite possibly scared, though he can't be sure as it's not an emotion he's used to seeing in her eyes.

"I'm going to Jappa," she mumbles, all the while wanting to kick herself for sounding so weak and stupid in front of him.

"Okay," he says not wanting to push her for fear she might break. He's never seen her look so fragile than in this moment.

"No. It's not okay, Ares," she replies forcefully, seeming to shake herself of her momentary weakness. She looks up at him angrily.

"Xena! What's going on?" he questions her urgently. Her frazzled state frightens him. He tightens his grip on her arms, shaking her slightly, urging her to elaborate.

"It's...a long story," she finally admits after a few stretched moments of silence during which she contemplates how much she should reveal to him.

"I've got an eternity."

"I don't," she responds sadly.

"You could..." he starts but stops when she sighs tiredly. Okay, so she doesn't feel like revisiting that issue. He remains silent, hoping that she'll explain soon.

'I'm going to Jappa," she says again, only this time she doesn't stop. "And I'm not coming back, Ares."

He stares at her dumbfounded for a few seconds trying to decipher her words. He looks into her crystal blue eyes, trying to find a hint of humour or deceit. Finding nothing but sincerity, and something he can't quite place, he frowns.

"I don't understand," he says; it's his turn to feel stupid.

"Ares, like I said, it's a long story, and I don't really want to go into it," she starts wearily, lifting a hand to her forehead.

"Xena, you didn't call me just to tell me this!" he exclaims in anger, relinquishing his hold on her and pushing her away.

"No, I didn't," she says softly, barely blinking in the face of Ares' fury.

"Then tell me, Xena," he spits out her name disdainfully, "why did you call me?"

"To say goodbye."

They stare at each other. Xena looks tired, asking him with her eyes to forgive her. Ares' glare softens as his anger ebbs away.

"Goodbye?" he whispers, uncomprehending.

"Yes, goodbye," she reiterates dejectedly. "I...need to die to save thousands of souls."

Ares shakes his head quickly. His hands are on her arms again, imploring her: "Xena, you've more than made up for all the crap you did before you turned good. Why don't you just think about yourself this once?"

"I'm the only one who can do this, Ares," she whispers, looking anywhere but to his eyes, afraid that if she does, her resolve will break. She'd like so much to be selfish just this once, but she can't.

"Xena, look at me," he orders sternly; she does. "What about Gabrielle? And Eve? You can't just leave them!" he tries desperately, feeling as though she's water slipping through his fingers.

"Eve's made it through her entire life without me; she'll be fine. And Gabrielle...she's grown so much since I met her. She'll be stronger because of this," she says more to herself than him.

"You can't honestly believe that, Xena," he tries again, gripping her arms forcefully.

"Yes, I do," she replies vehemently, angry tears springing to her eyes. Her pride prevents them from falling.

"What about me?" he whispers brokenly; this is his last resort.

"What about you?" she challenges him, though her eyes have become soft once more.

"How am I going to survive without you?" he clarifies, watching her eyes grow in surprise before narrowing.

"You've managed fine without me for the first part of eternity. You'll get over it," she tells him coldly. He knows what she's doing. He's known her long enough to know that she becomes cold and distant to avoid delving into her own feelings. Unfortunately for her, he's not having any of it today.

"Xena, you're not just some harlot! I love you!" he yells in her face, hoping she'll finally understand that this isn't just another game. It's his heart on the line.

She doesn't respond. She stares at him long and hard, various emotions clouding her eyes. She snaps out of her reverie and presses her lips to his. Her arms go around his neck while his circle her waist, pulling her impossibly close.

He feels like he's drowning. He's never been kissed with this much passion, desperation or urgency. Suddenly, he hears her whimper softly, and is shocked to feel her tears on his cheek. She's clinging to him desperately, as though afraid of losing him forever if she lets go. He brings his hand to her hair, cradling her head reverently, trying to convey all his love for her in this one breath-taking kiss.

She pulls away.

Her eyes are red-rimmed making them appear even more stunningly blue, and her nose is puffy. Her lips are swollen from their bruising kiss. She looks so beautiful he wants to cry.

He does.

"Goodbye, Ares," she says, her voice clear and steady despite the trembles in her body. Her eyes lock with his, and her heart breaks at his dismay.

"Goodbye, Xena," he whispers hoarsely. He doesn't attempt to hide the tears in his voice; it doesn't matter. Nothing really matters anymore.

With one last longing look into her blue eyes, he dematerializes, leaving her alone in the forest clearing.

"I love you, too," she whispers into the wind.


End file.
